Well, it’s been a few years since I’ve written anything and I owe you a huge apology. This isn’t clickbait in hopes you read it, it’s the truth.
I’m deeply sorry.
I’ve gone through a lot of changes since I ran the Daily Transformations page on FB.
Facebook took me down and along with the page, went 11 years of writing and 300K followers. My ego hit face down when all the likes on my blog posts were set to zero. This is a blogger’s worst nightmare- social credibility set to zero. It felt like a huge ego death, and yet, it was a rebirth.
So why did I stop writing?
During the pandemic, I experienced a wake-up call.
The sick realization that I had unknowingly led many, many women around the world astray with my teachings, hit hard. While the 40-Day Personal reboot helped a lot of people, myself included, it was built on a lot of new age false knowledge.
But let me back my shame bus up a bit.
I was raised in the Midwest and had inside every Midwest stereotype you can think of, including my values, yet after moving to Boulder, Colorado years ago, I slowly slipped from those values.
I grew up praying as though Jesus were my personal friend, but after a few years of living in Boulder, I started to fall.
Church wasn’t as exciting as a drum circle under the stars.
I was suddenly depending on “finding my inner power again, reclaiming my power as a woman, manifesting what I needed, and seeking hidden knowledge that seemed to solve the mysteries of the Universe”.
I turned to Yoga and Nature for my peace of mind. Church seemed outdated and boring, and those same people inside the church weren’t all that impressive outside of church, so I quit going.
Yoga led me to Eastern spiritual teachings and those led me down the path to Shamanism and Buddhism, Earth-based spirituality and plant hallucinogens, attending women’s circles and full moon rituals, eventually finding myself not even thinking about God anymore.
If you’ve gone down that rabbit hole, you know how one thing leads to another.
Then I became sick, really sick. The kind of sick that knocks you flat and whispers in your ear that this might just be it. I created a will and for the first time in a long time, begged on my knees for God to help.
This prayer had nothing to do with a positive mindset or visualizing what I wanted as so many new-age teachers had suggested, but instead, everything to do with being down on my knees surrendering, and asking for a miracle.
And, I received it.
The blinders fell away and as it’s said, I had ears to hear and eyes to see.
I begged God to have my relationship restored with Jesus again. I was hungry for understanding Biblical teachings, and at breathtaking speed, my false beliefs blew away and the fog cleared.
Suddenly everything that never made sense- made sense.
New Age teachings that seemed so mystical, magical and special, were in the Bible. The power of our thoughts and words, inner peace, believing, forgiveness, and love were all right there.
But the new age movement leaves one important factor out of all of it. God.
Instead, it teaches we are all powerful, essentially that we are mini Gods.
The darkness that hides behind those teachings is powerful and manipulative- evil and destructive. I realized that I didn’t know one person in those communities who seemed truly happy in life.
Instead, I watched a never ending hamster wheel of self-improvement, self-realization, and self-mastery constantly striving to get through another “test of life”, trying to manipulate energies and create a life they might love.
Looking back, that was hell on earth.
Nothing works because the truth is that we are born in the image of God, we were forgiven for all of our mistakes when Jesus died as the ultimate sacrifice for us, and we have everything we need in him.
We don’t need gurus or teachers, we need to reclaim our relationship with God.
There is so much more to tell here and perhaps there is a book looming, but this post is for two reasons only.
To apologize from the deepest part of my heart to each and every one of you who read my works or took my programs. There was a lot of great information in those modules, but they were all based on “the Universe, Great Spirit, or Inner Self.” All false teachings.
Only God can protect us and only God knows what is best for us. God empowers us and loves us, but no tarot card reading, psychic session, or magical Feng Shui tip can replace him.
And to encourage you, to simply pray. Ask that you’re led in the right direction and simply wait with an open heart. You’ll see that the perfect podcast or video will cross your radar. It might be a movie or a tv show like The Chosen, a book, or a phrase that comes to your attention. None of us knows the mystery of how, but we’ll recognize it.
All we need to do is ask with an authentic heart. Simply ask to be led.
I can’t go back and rewrite the things I wrote and posts that were published elsewhere. But I can encourage you to replace the words I used like Universe with God. Replace manifesting with praying and trusting. And most of all, replace anything I said out of ignorance, with reverence for the one true Holy God.
Life is so much easier when we give up the reins, when we lean back into trust, and we give up our authority and control to the highest power in the Universe, the creator of that Universe- God.
May God bless you on your path.