1 in 3 people say they feel disconnected from the world around them.
1 in 3, think about that. We’ve got a million ways to connect yet we’re all feeling more disconnected than ever regardless of the many virtual devices available.
So why all this loneliness?
Have you noticed how little we actually “look” at the people around us? Consider how often you actually look into the eyes of co workers, friends and loved ones, chances are you don’t.
Think of your spouse, children or roommate in the morning as you navigate around one another making breakfast and chatting.
We’re so busy trying to get to where we’re going that we forget to connect to those around us with something as simple as eye contact.
I once asked a homeless man “what’s the hardest part of being homeless?” He immediately replied: “No one looks me in the eye. It’s as if I’m invisible.”
Our fast paced culture has advanced technology to connect us, yet most of us walk around with loneliness drowning our heart.
Consider even your most faithful pet~how often do they stand there patiently looking into our eyes as we rush along not making eye contact with the ones that love us most?
We’ve become immune to authentic interactions as we ignore the tennis ball dropped in our laps while typing away on the computer or as we stand in line typing and texting away oblivious to those around us.
So how to connect?
Make eye contact with your bank teller, your dry cleaner, your waitress and your neighbors. These are human beings having experiences in the world you share together, you’ve got a lot in common.
Start to make direct eye contact with everyone as you go about your daily business. People may look away quickly, but when we feel the connection with another human being for even one brief moment; there is magic there.
We all deserve to see and be seen.
xo
Image courtesy of djcodrin at freedigitalphotos.net
Tamara – good point we go out of our way to avoid looking at people. You will definitely have a different take on this if you go to other countries i.e. India:) where it’s common to outright stare. I guess there’s 2 extremes in the world. lol
Thanks for this, Tamara. It makes a huge difference in daily life to make eye contact and to smile. I know this from 57 years of experience. It makes me feel good to make contact with another person, no matter how briefly.
I share your observations and sentiment Tamara and perhaps we should start by looking into our own eyes. How often do we look into your own eyes?
When you look in the mirror to apply make up, shave, do your hair, adjust a tie or a dress, take a few minutes to see something you may not have seen for a while maybe never!
Whenever you see your own reflection don’t look away get to know the person looking back..look into their eyes for at least 3 minutes and silently acknowledge, not what you see but, WHO you see then smile and tell yourself something positive. and that all things are possible.
When you can look into your own eyes you will find it easier to look into the eyes of others and begin to SEE the other person
I can see you 🙂
I understand this…I just realize that I am lonely (or detached) because I shut myself off…so now I will try and make changes where I am more, attached, socially, physically, and in the work place…thanks
I really love this idea! In fact, I do it all the time when I am shopping and talking with the cassiere or something. I really share your opinion about this.
But, unfortunately, in the city where I live, there are a lot of men with a certain cultural background witch makes them believe women want to have fysical contact if they look you in the eye. So, if I, a woman, look them in the eye, I can get into trouble because they can think the wrong things of me. But, for the rest of the people I will definitely use this approach!
Great post! I definitely find that when I’m desiring connection or compassion, I look into the eyes of the person I’m speaking with. That could be a friend when I really want to be heard, or I really want her to know I’m listening, a cashier at the grocery store who seems like he’s not having a great day, etc.
One place where I’ve found this practice vital is in my relationship with my boyfriend. We both make sure to truly look at each other when we’re talking and, wow, it sure does make a difference. Thanks again!
“If I walked around avoiding eye contact, I’d be avoiding human connection for most of my day.”
I love this point! So a question for you, do you think eyecontact can be fatigueing on the eyes? If i sit with someone for a long period of time I feel an urge to look away because i find that my eyes get tired.
Another question, when I’m connected I have this twinkle in my eyes just like other poeple that seem connected, what on earth is that spark people have in their eyes?? It can definately be felt, so it must be something other than just eyecontact, huh?